What is a child to do when she is just about to have a birthday and KNOWS that birthday presents are being snuck into a bedroom to be hidden. Combine this combination to a child with Autism and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and one just HAS to know what is hidden where.
Well, this is exactly what happened and the drive to know has created not only tears but disapointment and the loss of a suprise. Not only is the suprise gone but now the birthday girl knows she has a special gift, what that special gift is, and it is eating at her that she can't touch or see it until her birthday party. The thrill of the suprise is also gone for the big sister who worked SO hard to find the perfect gift.
We have now had several conversations about what it means to have autism (again) and now autism combined with OCD. We have also had to talk about what OCD is, why this was NOT brought up before now, and why this is something to learn to manage as it is just a part of of who our wonderful daughter is and what makes her so unique.
How do you explain to children that just because they are made different does not mean they are broken, or wrong, or unwanted, or have no potential. Everyone thought Einstein or Hellen Keller would amount to nothing. If you expect nothing from your child they give you nothing. If you expect the world, they give you world.
Children with autism and OCD are very much like remote control toys. Some are only wired to move in one direction. Others in two directions. While others a few more directions, then some can move in any direction imaginable. Does this mean the toys moving only forward are broken and therefore should be discarded?
Of course not. We learn to adjust our dreams and dream new dreams for our wonderful children. We learn to teach our children that everyone who desires can become an Einstein. Our job is to find the one thing that our children excel at and help them continue to move forward a little more each day.
While for the normal or neurotypical child the smaller world the child with autism fits into is difficult to understand, they with time will learn to help their sibling continue to move forward as well. These worlds will clash many times throughout their lives. These children will become adults one day. Yet, their childhood experiences hopefully will teach everyone the coping and communication neccessary to break down the barriers when the worlds do clash.
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