General Relief Society Meeting

Tonight I was able to attend the General Relief Society Meeting and the Stake Women’s Conference before hand. We started out with the service projects. They had quilts to tie off, hats to crotchet, surgery dolls to stuff and stitch and put gowns on for the Diamond Children’s Hospital in Tucson, and Educational Activity folders for young children to help keep them reverent during Sacrament Meeting.

However, Due to my pain levels I sat in the foyer on the couch where I was more comfortable, with some old friends and chatted. We also caught up on old times. I also shared with them that the dr’s are suspecting that my cancer is back. For most this was a huge surprise as we discovered that when we were here in Ft Huachuca last time we did not tell anyone that I had cancer while pregnant with our littlest one.

After the service project portion we had dinner. Before eating I asked for a blessing to help with pain issues I was dealing with. Even though I had taken my meds I was still hurting really bad. The pain was bad enough my hands were actually trembling.

I tried eating; however it did not work well. I was only able to take 3 bites and everything tasted bad even my Greek yogurt. Totally frustrating!

Once dinner was over we moved back into the chapel for the General Relief Society Meeting which was AMAZING!

Normally I would NOT text in any church meeting however; I had this voice that kept telling me to text thoughts and main ideas to my mother. This prompting did not come once but 3 times. So I logged in and started texting. Now I am SO glad that I did because of my Dilaudid and Valium, but the time the final song was being sung I had forgotten all but the last talk. So thanks for the prompting to text my mother because I now have notes from each of the speakers. The only speaker I know the name for was the final one.

The 1^st speaker talked about visiting teaching and the importance of not only visiting our sisters but serving them and helping them to build and increase their faith.

The 2^nd speaker spoke in Charity. Charity is the greatest love of Christ and shows compassion, respect, kindness, service, and accepts weaknesses in all. She also mentioned that through small acts of kindness you find and draw closer to Christ, find and discover greater and increased blessings. Additionally, charitable acts will help us overcome our difficulties and find greater peace in our lives. These acts also offer a special healing power. Her challenge to all is to pray for increased charity in our lives.

The 3^rd speaker spoke about cleaving to our covenants made between us and the Lord. To cleave is to adhere closely and strongly. When we cleave to our covenants we will remember our baptismal covenants and follow them carefully. In order to better to do the temple is an important course to follow and to center our covenants allowing for the Spirit of the Lord to work stronger in our lives. Through this we can rejoice in all our successes. Keeping our covenants allows for greater joy regardless of our current trials. The final though she left with us was when we die and our loved ones (or others) are left to sort through our belongings, will they see we clearly kept our covenants?

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf was the final speaker. He spoke on the Glory and Marvel of God’s creations. He referred to a simple flower The Forget Me Not. This flower has 5 petals and there are 5 simple things we MUST never forget as we strive to head back to our Heavenly Father’s presence.

#1 Patience- We MUST be patience with ourselves. We are NOT perfect. NO BODY IS PERFECT! Never compare ourselves with another person. Strive to turn our weaknesses into strengths. STOP punishing ourselves! Celebrate all successes, big or small. Remember even small successes are NEVER small in the Lords eyes.

#2 Sacrifice- Learn the differences between good and foolish sacrifices. If your child is waking up with a nightmare or is sick and you stay up late or all night that is a good sacrifice however, if you stay up all night to make the perfect Sunday dress with perfect accessories that is a foolish sacrifice.  Staying up late to ensure you understand the lesson for your class on Sunday is a good sacrifice, while staying up late to play a game is a foolish sacrifice.

#3 Happiness- Do NOT forget to be happy. Find and discover the simple joys in life. Simply joys bring happiness NOT huge grand dreams, keep righteousness in mind. NEVER stop  striving to improve, but look at what is around you and rejoice in the simple pleasures.

#4 Why- Do NOT forget the Why’s! Focus on the what, how, AND WHY! Asking why gives and understanding and removes the burden while brining pleasure in the what and the how.

#5 Love- Never forget the Lord LOVES YOU! The Lord never forgets no matter how dark or little you feel. He loves you more that than you could ever imagine. We are ALL daughters of God and he wants to touch, heal, support, treasure, and help each and every one of us, and help us help others. In addition self patience leads to happiness.

Successful First Day!

Getting off the bus with a HUGE smile!

 Once off the bus Ellie could not help but to run and bounce her way over to me with the biggest grin and so full of giggles. Telling me that had the "funnest day ever!"

As soon as she was in the house she quickly dumped everything out of her backpack onto the floor and was so proud of the little books and letter worksheets she got. Her class learned about the letter C. She was SO excited that she knew some of the words in her little books.

After reading me her books and telling all about the pictures in each book she grabbed her lunch box, sat on the kitchen floor, pulled her uneaten sandwich, gave me a HUGE smile and exclaimed "I so HUNGRY now!" and devoured the rest of her lunch.

Once her little books were put away and backpack was but back in her room she was SO excited to go outside and play on the playground.

Looking back to August 24th and month that has passed

Looking back to my long and stressful week that started up on August 24th when my body strted freaking out and perlplexed the dr's, has turned into a long and stressful month. This past month has been quite the emotional roller coaster for sure.

What I am about to say I had NO intention of sharing publicly for months if at all. However, Saturday night right after family prayer Frank decided it was time to share some news with the kids that rocked all of our worlds and has left me with much to ponder.

If you are not familiar with the issues leading up to this point you need to go back through the archives and read what happened during that long and stressful week posted on the 24th.

6 years ago on May 24th, 2005, I was diagnosed with a very rare form of sweat gland based cancer that is very aggressive. However, I very blessed with the location and timing of the original dignosis because the tumor was in the early stage, on my ear lobe and in the ear canal, and had NOT yet passed through my ear drum. The surgery was able to get clean margins and I was able to avoid chemo and radiation. This was another blessing as the combination required would have killed our littest princess. This little princess who herself through many miracles has beat many odds and is a thriving and vibrant child even with all her complex medical issues.

Well here I am once again facing the threat of cancer. I was NOT going to say a word about this as the cancer is only highly suspicious, meaning it may or may not be a threat. However, because I have 6 children who do not seem to understand the concept of "mom does not want this talked about," and have already told some. And my husband has also told others I felt I needed to write this out as well. Partly because I need to face the fact that this is threat is very real and one I really wish I were looking at facing once again.

I have been told I am in denial of accepting that this threat is real, and that is likely true as I do not want to face this fear again. I tried to keep this from the kids and not let them know until we knew more. However, it is getting harder because everytime I have one test, I have to have one or two more tests.

They are also asking why I have to see dr's in Tuscon not here at the clinic like they can. They ask why I am in pain all the time and do not have the energy to home school them this year. They ask why cleaning one room, cooking one meal, running a few errands, makes me exhausted and I just fall asleep in the middle of helping them with homework. They worry about how little I have been eating for a month now and why I can't eat more than a few bites.

I know Frank meant well in telling the kids. However, I was not prepared for when he told them. I had no clue he was going to tell them. This caused me to have an emotional breakdown and this still bothers me because I still do not understand the reaction I had.

What I was the least prepared for was my 9 yr old's question. He asked "what happens if the cancer wins this time?" Trying to reasure the kids this question most of all hit me like a ton of bricks. This made me realize that the kids really are more concerned than I had realized.

First Day of Kindergarten!

Well the first day of school has FINALLY arrived for Chantelle and goodness was she excited. She was so excited that getting her to sit down for breakfast was NOT going to happen. We got her lunch made and her morning snacks ready for school.

Once everything was ready she still had half an hour until it was time to go and that last 30 minutes was driving her crazy as the clock was NOT moving fast enough.

As soon as the clock struck 8:00 she was off and running out the door to the bus stop. She was filled with excitement and anticipation just waiting out there for the bus to come was getting harder and harder.

Once the bus rounded the corner jumping up and down, with a squeal in her voice she ran to the line to board the bus.

This day for me is filled with both excitement and anxiety as the last time she tried school was a few years in preschool and her immune system could not handle being around the other children. We had to pull her out to prevent serious and permanent damage to her lungs. After pulling from preschool the damage was severe enough that it took over a year of prednisone and other serious lung treatments to restore some of her lung function.

The exciting part is because she was NEVER expected to live long enough to attend public school and if she did we were warned to expect severe cognitive delays and not expect her to progress beyond the infant stage. SO to see her run jump and climb in the bus to join a normal kindergarten class is very exciting because she can and is ready for this academically and emotionally.

 Just so exctied and can't wait

 spinning circles to burn energy and bordom

 can I go YET???

 got her to sit for a picture of all in elementary school here

Ellie kindergarten, Zach 2nd grade, Jairon 4th, COrbyn 5th, and Jade 6th

 YEAH!! FINALLY 8:00 Mom we can GO and ready to run!

 Heading out!

 Already across the parking lot and under the bus stop tree.

Loading the bus! Bye Ellie!

Have a great day at school everyone!

Kilo’s or Lbs…

Hmm. What happens when the nurse is NOT paying attention to the scale and weighing children during a check is total confusion and the growth charts showing the kids are seriously underweight…

This is what happened today when the Jairon and Zach had an appointment to get the needed asthma meds so if they have asthma issues at school they will have them available.

The nurse did NOT notice the scales was set to kilo’s NOT lbs. So Jairon was weighed at 30 lbs NOT 68 lbs and Zach 25lbs NOT 55lbs.

After talking with her about their activity level for a few minutes then asking what their weights were and hearing 30 lbs for Jairon and 25 lbs for Zach I asked her “are you sure they were not weighed in kilo’s NOT lbs? That sounds about right for a kilo weight. There is no way my almost 6 yr old is weighing 40 lbs now and Zach bigger and wearing a larger clothing size can weigh less than she does.”

Hearing this she walked over to the scale and looked. Yep it was was set to kilo’s NOT lbs. So she re-weighed the kids, redid the growth charts, and  sure enough they are still on the light side but just fine.

Right now I am SO glad the Children’s ONLY weighed all kids in kilo’s so I could catch the error so quickly.